My name is Sinead. I am a 33 year old woman living in Ireland. I am on the Lipotrim diet and have 5 stone to lose. This blog is a diary of my journey. Thanks for stopping by!
I’ve been dieting for 21 years
If I had lost just 2 pounds each of those years, I’d be slim now. Then again, if I hadn’t lost objectivity on my body in my teens, I’d be slim as well. And even if I wasn’t, maybe I wouldn’t have spent 21 years thinking about it.
I started to diet when I was 12. Looking at old photos, I can see I was slim. Concrete evident (look down! look in the mirror! look at the tags on your clothes!) didn’t stop my mind distorting this image.
My mother put a copy of “A Girl’s Handbook” into my Christmas stocking when I was 12 to mark my passage of rights into “womanhood”. (Yes, she did use such language. It made me cringe and lock my bedroom door.)
A Girl’s Handbook was a ludicrious read. Pages and pages on nailcare, making your own soap, rollering nighttime hair, horse-riding. Chapter 2 itself was a calorie counter. I found my copy again in my twenties. I had written inside the cover “I will be thin by the time I am 13.”
I put on some weight during my teens, weight I now know to be natural puppy fat. Got boobs, an arse and hips (how I hated my hips). My body became my spokesperson, saying things I didn’t believe or want it to say, seconded by the boys in my neighbourhood and the odd lecherous old git. How an opinion from my mouth (no thanks! get lost! go away!) was worth less than one from my non-speaking boobs confused me, but there you go.
… to be continued
I said I’d post …
… everyday for the next month but I have to stop posting just to meet this deadline. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll expand my repertoire to include some talk about my diet? 
I feel awful
Can I say that again?
… 8 pounds … feck!
Tomorrow is a new dawn, time to start rowing the boat back.
I’m back and I’m fat …
… well not quite, but I’ve put on 8lbs. I know.
I am gutted. Literally.
I do still fit into my grey Vivienne Westwood dress, which I’m wearing out tonight. But that doesn’t make up for the weight I’ve put on. Two weeks of shakes down the drain there.
I’ve been a bit stressed lately (what’s new?) and have been hitting the tea and toast badly. When am I going to learn that sliced pan is not going to change anything?
Tomorrow I begin.
How useless am I?
So third time lucky. I am back. It’s time to get started on the next stone. I will be posting eveyday for the next month. How’s that for hanging myself out to dry! Maybe.
Sept 4th … the start of Stage 2
I’m going back on Lipotrim tomorrow. Time to shift the next stone. Am going to have two shakes and a small meal each day. I will keep you posted. My only apprehension is I can’t remember what the shakes taste like … memory = awful.
Ho hum, doesn’t matter. I’m itching to get started on the next stone. My current size now feels normal to me, so psychologically it’s a good time to carve off another bit.
My new job is also proving a bit elusive (will explain in another post) so my time will be used more productively exercising, making shakes and admiring my smaller ass in the mirror.
Talk later and if anyone if going to join me, let me know!
Let the games begin? … well, maybe
I started a new job on August 3rd and between travelling to England for an induction and being home only at the weekends to refresh our dogs’ memories of exactly who I am, as well as getting next week’s set of clothes ready, I have really put my diet and blog on the long finger. Add in the fact that my new colleagues (thankfully only short-term as I won’t be working in the UK office) were somewhat weird and cold, and that Ed has gone to Amsterdam for work, August hasn’t been the most life-affirming of months. I’m also a bit mad at myself because I’ve put on 4 pounds from eating cake in the evening after depressing days in the land of fuckwit UK office land. So there hasn’t really been any games begun. But a 4 pound gain isn’t the worst in the world and this was with me eating a lot of cake.
So where am I at? Well I’ve lost just over 2 stone and I want to start on the next stone. I was going to give Lipotrim another month of my life but the inner me is just bursting to exercise, so I think that’s where I’ll start. I know this is reminiscent of what I wrote in my oh-so-long-ago last post but it’s still my intention. It just hasn’t come into being yet. And that is my fault. Because I let people who were wrecking my head during the working day, take over my thoughts in the evenings afterwards. I have also been on ten flights in the last three weeks which has tired me out a lot.
So enough of the moaning, I’ll say it again, where am I at? I’ve lost just over 2 stone. I want to start on the next stone.
Let the real games begin!
And thanks for the gentle reminder to start blogging again Ed x
I’m back … let the games begin!
I want to lose 12 pounds by September 1st. That’s 5 weeks away and it will bring me to just over 11 stone.
I’ve been trying on some of my “old” clothes I haven’t been able to wear for years and I fit into the size 14 trousers (some of the size 14 skirts are too loose). Yay!
The plan for the next 5 weeks is to walk a couple of miles each day (I’ll be increasing this over time), drink 3 litres of water and the odd soup (I’m dreading tasting these again) and have small lunches and dinners of salad, chicken, basically the refeeding diet.
No big fanfare because I know it’s just a matter of following the plan and the weight will come off. There’s also a lot less pressure now as I no longer feel or look fat (I’m now “overweight”, no longer “obese”!!!), so no drama, just me walking each day, drinking my water and eating healthy low fat food.
Nothing like a return to sanity to make me see how crazy my eating was over the last years.
Not so much busy as burdened …
Sorry I haven’t posted much in the last week. I’ve had a lot of things going on and I put my diet on hold. I know I said I wanted to lose 5 pounds etc. but I didn’t anticipate I’d feel so down about Ed being far away (okay, I did) and then with our house still not sold, having to finish off my masters dissertation for a fast approaching deadline, I just felt that if I was drinking soup I’d have zero quality of life and be living one step too close to misery.
So I put my diet on hold and have been refeeding. Then I started to stress out that I was putting on/would put on some of the weight I lost, so I might as well have been on soup because I didn’t even enjoy half of what I was eating. Talk about a crap way to live.
Then my bestfriend’s dad died. The funeral was yesterday and being on my own in the house and spending time thinking back to my own mother’s death when I was 20 and my father’s death three years ago, my blue went from pale to dark.
The good news on the weight loss front is that I weighed myself this morning and I haven’t put on any weight so I can put that bit of stress in the bin.
Going to keep mending my sails during this storm, write my dissertation, pray someone comes calling to buy our house, have light but comforting meals, of course miss my Ed and restart my diet next week.
See you Tuesday for the next steps in my journey.
